Alright friends, this is my favorite year. This is when I get to go back and review the year of films that was and decide what my ten favorite movies were and the ten worst movies of the year. This one, the ten worst, I generally love more because I get to re-scream about movies that made me depressed because they were so bad, made me want to vomit from being so disgusting and so forth. So without any further ado, here is my list of the worst cinematic garbage that was created this year.
10. Man of Steel
I know a TON of people loved this film, and I was not one of them. I didn't like this film the first time I saw it. It was depressing and sad and an insult to everything Superman stands for. The more I think about this film and talk about it with people, the more I absolutely hate this film. And to think that Warner Bros and Legendary Pictures green lit a sequel that will be Batman vs Superman? Please. They cast Ben Affleck as Batman (not the best choice) but won't let him direct, which means the sequel will probably be even worse than this one.
9. A Good Day to Die Hard
I love Die Hard. I love Die Hard 2. I love Die Hard: With A Vengeance. I even enjoy Live Free or Die Hard (mostly because of great comedic work from Justin Long and surprisingly menacing work from Timothy Olyphant) but I had no need for this dopey, horrible fifth sequel to one of the best action franchises in history. It was tedious, long, boring, generally unfunny when trying to be, and just plain bad.
8. Hangover Part III
Like A Good Day to Die Hard, I love the original movie in this franchise. The Hangover is one of my all time favorite comedy films, but this movie was just terrible. It had a few decent laughs, most of which they got into the trailer anyways so I already knew the jokes. This was over the top disgusting (even for one of these films) and to top it off, this movie has nothing to do with crap hitting the fan because of the guys having a massive hangover. So what's the point?
7. Getaway
Ethan Hawke had a good year for movies with Before Midnight and The Purge (a surprisingly good film), but this is one I think he wants to forget. This was the absolute worst reviewed movie of the year with a 2% approval rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes and rightfully so. Ethan Hawke was just phoning in this performance in between jobs he legitimately wanted and to top it off, I was supposed to believe Selena Gomez as a car jacker? This was just bad film making at its finest. The intense action, though badly edited, was enough to keep this from being closer to number 1 on this list.
6. Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
This year saw some great teenage books adapted into film. We had Beautiful Creatures, which surprisingly wasn't too bad, and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire which was a phenomenal film, but this was just bad. It was dopey acting from actors who honestly aren't very good in Lily Collins and Jamie Campbell Bower, and to top it off the veterans like Jared Harris and Jonathan Rhys Meyers were even terrible as well. When one of your TV spots is interviewing fans of the book about their excitement to see the movie, rather than clips of the movie, you know your movie is bad. Good news is though, we won't be getting a sequel anytime soon from how badly this panned at the box office.
5. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
I'm hoping all of you have forgotten this would-be comedy from earlier this year. In a year where Now You See Me did really well, this was another magician movie, but this time gone horribly wrong. Steve Carell was decidedly unfunny in this and Jim Carrey wasn't much better. This movie had no laughs, and I didn't even smile while watching it.
4. R.I.P.D.
This is another film I wish I could just forget. I was actually lucky enough to not have to pay anything to see this movie, but I saw it later on after it was released on DVD. This is a terrible film with horrible performances from great actors. It hurts to see Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds wasted on such a bad script. To top it off, they don't even try to make it enjoyable. It just comes off as plain boring, sloppy garbage.
3. The Host
An adaptation of a Stephanie Meyers novel is the worst words for my ear to ever hear and this was no different. Another teenage adaptation gone horribly wrong from the author of the Twilight series (I refuse to call it a saga which has a positive connotation). This is a bad story about aliens taking over human bodies and it just makes for a plain boring movie. When three of your six "If you like this..." movies on iMDb are two twilight films and a Nicholas Cage movie, your movie probably should have never been made.
2. The Lone Ranger
This is Gore Verbinski and Jerry Bruckheimer's heads getting way too big. Johnny Depp is the top billed star and he isn't even the title character. Him and Armie Hammer have no chemistry, and Johnny Depp's performance would kill the career of a lesser actor. This movie had a two and a half hour run time and the most entertaining part was the previews for other films. I can't believe that Disney is still letting this team create a fifth Pirates movie after seeing this trash.
1. Grown Ups 2
Here we go, the worst of the worst. Any year Adam Sandler puts out a film now, every other film is competing for the second worst film of the year. My hatred for all things Adam Sandler after he came out with the following movies in succession: Grown Ups, Just Go With It, Jack and Jill, That's My Boy, and Grown Ups 2 knows no bounds. He is unfunny and this movie was disgusting with jokes about urination, defecation and injuries to male genitalia. The sad part is that Sandler owns his own studio to make his movies, so we are continually subjected to this stuff. He has another movie slated for release next year and two more filming. Congratulations America. This is bed you've made and I have to lie in it.
Well I'm glad reliving that is over. None of those movies are ones I would ever choose to sit through again. Let me know if you had a movie that had you rolling and moaning at how bad it was that didn't make my list. Or maybe you loved one of the movies on this list. I know many of you loved Man of Steel. Here's your chance to convince me why. Leave a comment below.
I actually enjoyed Burt Wonderstone, but it was an uncomfortable humor - like you're laughing, but you feel bad because it's like laughing at a retarded child who just tripped over something. And I used to like Adam Sandler's movies, the earlier ones like Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, 50 First Dates (my favorite with him), and Bedtime Stories, but yeah they've gone downhill. I haven't really been excited to watch them. I gave That's My Boy a go, and Bret and I turned it off after 30 minutes because it wasn't funny. It was shock humor - throw in vulgarity and lots of sex talk and someone will like it because it's shocking. But not me. I just thought it was horrible uncomfortable to sit through and it drove the Spirit out of the room so fast, it was incredible how I didn't laugh once in 30 minutes.
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